When I was asked to write this autobiography I couldn’t really think what exciting things had happened to me, but here we go.
I am sixteen years old. I live in Bath and now I have moved to Leeds,
Because I had a lot of problems at my old school (as you will see later!), oh yeah, and I smoke.
The start of my life is based on a dream my mother had of me, She was in a strange house, with a small baby in a pram sleeping under a window. My parents had tried for six years to have me but for various reasons they couldn’t have the little girl they wanted so badly. The doctors said that my mom couldn’t have any more children and that it was medically impossible. They were wrong, here I am. I was born October 25th 1986, screaming before I entered the world, or so I’m told. My parents where so happy they cried their eyes out over me, something they will repeat in years to come! When I was still very young, my parents decided to move from Northampton down to Bath. At this point I should mention I have two older brothers Brad thirteen years older than me, and Mark who is ten years older than me.
Brad and Mark have been the highlights of my childhood days. They would always cheer me up even when things got really bad and I would feel like giving up.
I was born with jet-black hair and I suppose that is why my favourite colour is now black. Most my clothes are black and I like to dress the way I feel!
I loved dancing. Even as a little girl, as soon as music would start to play that was it; I was off dancing and wriggling my bottom all around the room. I joined ballet and tap classes and I did my first show when I was only three. I loved the attention it seemed to bring; it’s funny how now I hate everyone looking at me.
I always remember my tenth birthday; I had an injection the day before and was so ill, and couldn’t do anything. And there again was Brad and Mark. They really did know how to make me laugh, putting on shows with all of my Barbie dolls. Nowadays Mark and Brad prefer to work, Mark is one of the top computer engineers in Bath and Brad makes drugs (well things like inhalers and heart tablets).
I can’t really remember anything of my early school years, but mom and dad say that I loved it, God knows why?
The only thing I next remember is leaving primary school. I loved it there and I can always remember the day that it burnt down I hated change, and still do. I hated the thought of the secondary school as I was soon to go to. However I grew to love my new school. I was a star pupil and would never do anything wrong. Why things went from good to bad and then to worse I really do not know.
In year eight I started smoking. To be honest I really wish I hadn’t as now it is such a pain to try to give up.
Year nine, still smoking and I had started skiving. To me school had got so boring and I preferred spending my days in the sun than in a crappy little classroom (I still find it hard!). That’s when I started to go downhill, skiving, because it was always just the easy way out. I started cutting my arms and wasn’t the happy little girl I had been. Soon my school, found out that I was missing school and called my parents. My parents also that same day found out that I was cutting myself and smoking fags. The horror I must have put them through.
The start of year ten is still a blur, I was going to counselling, teachers wouldn’t teach me because I was seldom there and when I did turn up I was just a pain they didn’t want in their classroom.
I ran away from home three times, never staying away all night from home, because someone always found me. I always went to the place I knew well, Bristol, I knew I could hide pretty well in the many small streets and shops. I was still missing school so my parents got the Education Welfare Officer involved and when that didn’t help, Social Services. Finally I ended up in a police cell, for four hours, staring at a blank wall and for what, five stolen CD’s. I thought myself so smart walking out of those shop doors! It was told my ‘friends’ that I wouldn’t be caught, it was easy, so easy. They gave me a list of what they wanted me to steal. I will never forget the looks, on the faces of my parents, when they came to bail me out!
Soon after that I got myself back on my feet, some how. Counselling stopped, and I was seeing my social worker on a regular basis, I was beginning to understand what I had been doing.
Year eleven and I hadn’t cut myself for months. I was happy again, living with my parents. Even my social worker had turned out nice and I had gotten off lightly with the police. The only problem was my school, my teachers rarely wanted to teach me. They said it was my fault for skiving. I didn’t understand the work, I had forgotten how to work and nobody was willing to show me what I had missed. So I didn’t go, it was easier.
Just when things had got so bad and they couldn’t get any worse school wise. My godmother called and told me about a college near to her home in Leeds, a place where they would help me be what I want, be willing to show me what I had missed.
My parents still live in Bath and I go home weekends but in the week I live just down the road from college with my godmother.
Things are going great!! I don’t cut myself anymore and my parents and I are close to one another again. I still smoke but hopefully soon that will go out the window as well! Even though I miss everyone at home like mad, I’m happy here, and it won’t be forever I’ll be home before summer.
My future is still unclear, well not quite, I want a career with children, and I dream of a big house in the middle of nowhere with a white picket fence. I now know I’m going to get there, my big house in the middle of nowhere. Me, my beloved children, a dog and a cat, oh and some to love and to love me. (I hope!)