Everyone has its own ability to choose and has the freedom to do what they like. But we know, freedom is limited in attaining happiness and not to go away from it. I was born into this world as a Christian and having a Christian faith. I may not know anything about it when I was just a little child, but as I grew up, I started to learn all about God and how I should respond to Him. But it’s not that easy, though I started my schooling in a Christian school. It helped me strengthen my faith but not so much because of many temptations and problems along.
I first came to be closer to God when I’m a member of the choir singing during mass in school. But now, I barely memorize the songs during mass. I don’t know what happened but maybe it’s because when I transferred to a public school in my secondary level. I was not one of them anymore and the atmosphere of where I usually am has changed. There were no more monthly masses and recollections. But I know, my faith remains there, inside me. I just can’t properly flow with it with so many sins I committed and done. I admit, it lessen.
I sometimes get lazy already attending mass, I don’t listen to my parents always and I get jealous always to my sister and brother. But now, where I am again on a Christian school, I felt like He is calling for me to go with Him again. Try to live with Him every time. I live not that holy, but I strongly believe that there is really God. I don’t completely attend mass every Sunday and I do bad things. I still cheat during exams. I still insult my younger sister. I still don’t help in the household chores. I know I’ve been not that faithful enough.
I know it’s not the way I should act. But, it’s very difficult to be like Jesus with this surrounding that’s full of temptations and sinful acts. Despite of all my sins, I still do good things and the desire to be in heaven doesn’t change at all. With the many painful happenings, especially when I lost someone very dear to me, my father, I learned to be more responsible. I learned to be strong, to be optimistic and to accept every trial that goes in my way. I believe it’s just God’s way to shape us in the way He like us to be. I learned to do more good things than bad things.
I also learned to forgive easily and I rarely get angry to anyone, if I did, it would only be short-timed. Now, how is my Christian faith? My faith to God hasn’t been constant. There are times that it would lessen and sometimes get stronger. But I’m still trying to make it grow and develop it in such a way it will not decline anymore. And so I’m always praying to Him to lead me in the way He likes. I’m really not perfect and also with my faith. So, it gave me the idea that I should start working and do my best to be worthy and have the chance to be with God forever.