I could not believe the sight that greeted me as I opened the front door in the morning.
There stood Rina; the girl I loved, looking in a way I had never seen her before. Tears streaming down her perfect face; only that she had never been like this before. Her beautiful brown eyes were filled with overflowing water. She swung her arms around me and started to weep, I comforted her and led her into the lounge. I asked her what was wrong but she couldn’t stop crying to tell me, my heart began to pound really hard because I was worried; she was special to me.I was stunned t what she was telling me, it just couldn’t be true I kept telling myself in my head while she told me what he done. I didn’t know what to say to her; the words wouldn’t come out. All I could think of is how indecent he was.
He took advantage of her vulnerability; he used her and stole her innocence. He put his dirty hands on her and rapped her; my brain was throbbing at the image of his filthy hands. She told me how he had pulled her into an alley where her molested her. The hatred for him grew more and more inside me.
Someone had just rapped; the woman I loved, cherished. I gave her a hug, I felt her pain; this wasn’t the normal Rina, she had lost her happiness. I told her I’d be right back, as I climbed the stairs, my fury increase. I opened the bedroom door, and began putting the code for the safe in. I just couldn’t hold it and smacked my hands on the wall, why would someone be so filthy? I opened the safe, there lying on some documents was a handgun; did I really want to do this, is it the right thing to do? I placed my hand on the gun and something told me to pick it up; my heart told me to. I placed the gun in my inside pocket, my heart pumping faster than ever.
I went down the stairs into the lounge, I went up to her and just stared, I gave her a kiss on her forehead and told her I loved her. For the first time ever she replied the same, she meant the world to me. I told her I would be back in a while, and told her to say in the house and not open the door to anyone. I shut the front door behind me as I left the house; she loves me. I got into my car and drove down to the pub where he was normally found. The though of his grubby hands touching the person I loved kept coming back to me again and again.
I stopped the car and waited, did I really want to do this? I opened the door and stepped out into the wet road. I could hear my own footsteps echo in my head. I pushed the door of the pub open; my adrenalin was pumping faster than ever.I walked up to him and tapped him on his back.
He turned; my heart was pumping faster and faster by the second. I pulled out the gun; everyone went silent. I slowly pulled the trigger, not even a second later he was on the floor, the bullet had gone right threw his head. Screams filled my head people shouting “dial 999”, I left the pub not looking back at what I had just done. As I got into my car, reality struck I had just shot a man! As I drove back to my flat all I could hear was the gunshot the people screaming. I had just shot someone; I couldn’t believe it. He deserved it but I was still in shock.
As I drove I could hear the sirens of police cars nearby. I arrived at my flat; I walked slowly to the door. My body was shaking as I opened the door. Rina ran to the door, hearing the sound of it opening. She looked at me and asked me what I had done to mike, I told her; I shot him.
She began to cry and gave me a hug, I didn’t know what to do; I now realised what was happening. She knew there was no hope anymore; we were both aware that I would not be in the world for much longer.The police arrived soon after, my heart sunk even more. As they arrested me I pondered over what I had done. I wasn’t remorseful, he had stole took advantage of someone. He had taken away her purity, and if I had a chance to replay my life I would shoot him again. I believed I was ready for what was coming. As much as I believed I was right to do what I done, my heart was yet not at peace.
I can’t remember the court case, apart from the sentencing. The only words that ever shook me were those of my sentencing. The court found me guilty on the counts of murder and sentenced me to death by lethal injection, which was to be carried out in three days.
As much as I knew I was going to be killed; I was still shocked when I heard my sentence. My jaw “dropped” to the ground. This is when it really occurred to me- I wasn’t going to be in this world for too long. When I looked back I saw my family and Rina, tears poured down their eyes; apart from my father- he was a man of principal.As I sit in this cold room covered from floor to ceilings in filthy grey paint, I ponder over all the mistakes I made. I only received 1 visitor regularly- Rina. My father came once, to tell me that the family had disowned me. My family was one of principal, they never approved of Rina and I because she wasn’t a Muslim.
As my death day comes nearer I don’t want to sin anymore, I want to forgive the little things I held grudges for. I don’t want any enemies when I die and most of all I want to be forgiven for the way I have treated people in the past. I sent many letter to my family asking them to forgive me- I received not a single reply.I requested one of the guards to get a copy of the Quran, the Muslim holy book, for me in English. Throughout the twenty-nine years of my life I had never manage to learn the Quran. I have read the Quran day and night and finished it today, the third day in my cell. I have prayed for forgiveness and accept what I have done is wrong, but still believe that he deserved it.
The guars I have are friendly, I read them the Quran; they would sit and listen to me. They made my last few days a lot easier. After finishing the Quran, I have found peace inside me. I feel as if I am ready to go back to Allah. I have to go they want me somewhere.