In the beginning of the story, the narrator talks about how she once bought a picture post-card at a village shop. Every time she thought of Meandered, before knowing the place in person, she would picture that pot-card she had bought long ago. She thought Meandered would be beautiful and enchanting in person because of her little visual aid, plus all she heard from people around her talk about this place.
The narrator always daydreams of that place and how things would be there. Especially when she and Mrs.. Van Hopper met Mr.. De Winter and the subject came cross the conversation. Later on, when the narrator marries Mr.. De Winter and head to Meandered, many thoughts cross her head as the moment of meeting the place she only knew in her dreams and that picture she once had come closer and closer. “l forced a smile, and did not answer him, aware now of the stab of panic, an uneasy sickness that could not be controlled.
Gone was my glad excitement, vanished my happy pride. I was like a child brought to her first school or a little untrained maid who has never left home before… “(pig. 62) She cannot wait to get there but is also very insecure and nervous about what everyone might think of her. She expects Meandered to be full of life with much colorful and vivid vegetation with a fresh ocean breeze along with its wave’s relaxing sounds filling the air. The house would be tall and magnetic looking like it was in her picture.
When at last they were finally there it was how she expected it to be: miss, there it was, the Meandered I had expected, the Meandered of my picture post-card long ago. A thing of grace and beauty, exquisite and faultless, lovelier even that I had ever dreamed, built in its hollow of smooth grass land and mossy lawns… ” (pig. 65) As time goes by, the narrator still loves the place she now calls home but feels uncomfortable and as if she is being watched and Judged. This makes her feel slightly out of place and as if she can’t do things as well and efficiently as Rebecca used to do (compares herself to her).
In addition she feels lost going around the house since Maxim never really showed her much of the house itself. She starts to find her own way around and slowly creates a new routine and feels a little more of a part of her new home. Regarding the staff, she feels too insecure to run the house the way she likes and chooses to keep it the way it is Just to avoid trouble and bad thoughts from all the maids, cooks, etc. Furthermore, throughout the story she shows to be very shy when it comes to social activities like meeting new people.
She has the same problems with the guests she has to meet since she feels she doesn’t know how to behave properly or find the correct things to say for whatever is they are talking about. Maxim always tries to assist her in a certain way, letting her talk only when it is extremely necessary and helping her in awkward situations. She sees Maxim as near world, the love to near elite but seems to tell as it nee only sees near as a companionship to then Just ignore those thoughts and conform herself with everything.